I have heard from pretty trustworthy sources that “Salvation” acts as a one time and continual act. We all know the bit, I was Justified in an instant before God, am currently being saved/working out my salvation, and one day will be glorified with Him in Heaven. Now that used to put me to sleep because those previous sentences sound nice and neat but don’t at all inform much of how I live out my day to day realities with disgusting dirty doubts and all..
So my question is again what does it mean to Believe the Gospel?
Even looking at the greek word pisteuo which is used in our now (in)famous Romans Road 10:9 we come away with a definition that seems to hurt more than help..
1. used in the NT of the conviction and trust to which a man is impelled by a certain inner and higher prerogative and law of soul
2. to trust in Jesus or God as able to aid either in obtaining or in doing something: saving faith OR mere acknowledgment of some fact or event: intellectual faith
Now does this really represent a one time event? A lifetime of believing? The first definition seems to imply that I am “impelled” (read” to cause into motion) upward and onward as if watching from 3rd person I could see someone like me putting “confidence” in Christ and then somehow begin to walk into these great acts of service, love, grace etc. Is that what happened with you? I think we would all agree that it’s not MERELY intellectual assent to some facts about Jesus, but it certainly isn’t less than that is it? Isn’t it strange that Jesus seems to take this for granted when talking to his disciples about belief? There are rumors that we get the English word believe from an old middle English word that means “Hold dear, love”…maybe this is what Jesus was getting at?
So when morning’s come and I am not impelled to love or serve Christ nor others what does that say about my belief-ing? What does it say about the one time I may have believed in time and space when I “came to Christ”? Why does it seem harder to believe now than back then? I am stuck with more questions and maybe I am making something out of nothing but I am stuck praying Lord I don’t believe help me understand what belief is?
I am figuring out that a fundamental woe of the american lifestyle, (as evidenced in my own life), is a demand of privacy at all and any cost. We are unsettled by phone-tapping, the patriot act, etc bc it gets to the core of what we demand as americans : privacy.
Think about it.. we even have gone so far as to demand, even on something as etheral as the internet, a section cut out called MY space (.com). This Space is supposed to be so distinct and seperate as to encapsulate everything that is different and unique about me relative to you.
I think this “perceived” right that we will defend at all cost is at the very least contrary to the efforts of the gospel to bring us to a place of transparency in every corner of our lives. One of my favorite quotes, is from a great dutch theologian named Abraham Kuyper…”There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is sovereign over all, does not cry: Mine!”
This is all relevant to me now because speaking the word “community” on a blog or church meeting and being in it mooment by moment are completely different realities. Having a new family rub up against me continually really rubs off who think you are and exposes what you aren’t. Is privacy merely an invention to keep us from this? What are the differences between privacy and solitude? What scares me the most about this idea is that He/she/they might really find out how i dont’t honor God with all my time, and then rightly call me into question.
I’m not arguing for some systematic time-sheet that God keeps us to but i wonder if some of the arguments behind this right (who came up with this as a right anyways) are just masks of pretension?
Somewhere in college i heard that Jesus loves me as I am but doesn’t ever keep me that way. Harmless enough right? But I also heard that, maybe subtly like a whisper from a dear friend, unique personality differences are non-negotiable within the kingdom of Christ. He knitted me together so don’t really mess with ME per-se only parts of me. However’s it is within me and you and the differences therein that i have come across some issues because i feel the language is a bit misleading. Now I don’t use my psychology degree often but every now and then it feels appropriate because i feel like there might be a misunderstanding about Introverted/Extraverted-ness.
An old German psychologist by the name of Carl Jung came up with the distinction between intro/extra verted and he defined intra (verted) as follows..”a term used to describe a person whose motives and actions are directed inward. Introverts tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimize their contact with other people.” That sounds staggerling close to narcisscism to me, something we americans have perfected as well. The way this manifested itself in church was the kids who were popular, outgoing, fun to be around were “extraverted” and those kids were the ones selected to do “evangelism” or anything else that engaged another living human. The quieter, more meek children, were labeled as having gifts of prayer and service so they always were shrugged to the corner.
What if both the parties creating these distinctions and the kids settling into them as barriers are wrong? Is settling “into ourselves” ever an option as a follower of the Way? Aren’t i metaphysically indebted to, dare i say under obligation to, outdo one another in showing zeal and service?
Let me clarify something before i continue in that i am not against solitude or even intropsection. I’m just worried we/I have been quick to yield to our own needs and desires while needs and conditions of others go overlooked. Christ is continually beckoning us outward into the Void because He lives in the uncomfortable. Shouldn’t our problem be exhaustion from giving and over-exherting ourselves versus having to prod minds and hearts away from ourselves and towards others?
